Secret Hideout

As of February 17th, 2009
Well, I never thought I'd need one of these, but damnit, I'm so bored and lost with Excel right now; I'm freaking desperate. So, let's use this thread for people who've noticed all my many discrepancies and inconsistencies. I get the impression nobody ever posts in these things, but know I'll never stop doing all those annoying things if nobody tells me so I can actually fix them.

( IMPORTANT STUFF PART ONE )

[ACTION-PACKED] (Also helmet-mounted video feed)
[Excel is running amuck in something akin to this but with less exposed skin and the helmet ON, though it's still green/teal. Of course, her braid is still sticking out from underneath it, but that's mostly for identification purposes. Prone to pride-fueled bloodlust as our dubious heroine is, she sees this contest as nothing less than a way to prove ACROSS's dominance over the rest of these pathetic ignorant masses. She's already managed to secure herself a full grenade belt and a plasma sword. She found a chaingun earlier, but decided it was too heavy to be helpful. So now she's stealthily stalking silently at a swift step straight toward.... Something. BUT DAMNED IF SHE'S NOT GOING TO GET THOSE FLAGS!]

My narrative's alliteration failed, but that's all the more reason I won't! Ignorant corrupt teams, your flags already belong to team ACROSS! They just haven't left yet!,

[Voice]
Ugh... Hey, Ha-chan.... Don't forget t'take Menchi out for walkies so she doesn't go on the kitchen floor... Not too long, though... Don't want her t'burn off too much of that fat... .... Wait... Menchi isn't here... That's right....

..... I feel as though I should worry about the general malaise I seem to be suffering from at the moment.... Probably some kind of enemy sleeping agent or nerve gas...

But.... Nn... I'll worry about it when I wake up....

How the hell did this happen? How the heck was I supposed to know she was actually sick? She's ALWAYS sick! She's a walking medical anomaly! Is this some kinda karma? A curse? I-Is it my fault for not acting sooner? BELAY THAT LINE OF THINKING, ME! THERE'LL BE NO SELF-GUILT-TRIPPING ON MY WATCH! Ha-chan's a brave servant of Lord Il Palazzo, she won't tell them anything as long as she's alive! ....... Then again, if they try to dissect her again like that one time.... Uh....

So, uh... Hey, you guys whatever your names were, the ones who helped out Ha-chan the other day. .... Thanks.

Since I've got to keep up with her half of the work while she's, eh... temporarily out of action... Would you guys mind keeping me posted on how she's doin'? Say, for instance, if she were to die all of a sudden, you wouldn't mind informing me, her dearest and truest... coworker... the second it happens, right? So I can get to her before the metaphorical vultures do?


.... Just wondering.

Yesterday, Ha-chan, was a lesson in just WHY I hate this place. We should be lucky we weren't affected by such a ridiculous curse because it could have given us away. On the other hand, I suppose it was a good opportunity to gather information about the more questionable hobbies of the citizens of this city. Seriously, you people are into the weirdest stuff.

Well, 'least the weather's nice! Yes, even when the spirit of this corrupt and cursed city plummets into the dark and gloomy depths, at least mother nature knows whose side she's on!

[Private/Action to Hyatt]
... Oi, Ha-chan, you think we've been getting too comfortable here? Like we should be doing something we aren't? Maybe we oughta get a new job or somethin'. I mean, I know this isn't the city our Lord wants, but....

[Voice Post]
DAMNIT, WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES!?

How many days of work do I have to miss for stupid reasons like this!? And how many damn times do I have to be naked in this damn city!?

Well, whatever. This is why I stashed plenty of food in our room, Ha-chan. We should be able to....? Eh?

...... Ha-chan? Oi, Ha-chan? You still here? You cursed or not?

[Video]
Ugh..... Ha-chan.... I think there musta been somethin' wrong with that meat we used for last night's soup.... I don't feel so good.... Urgh....

[Despite it being Excel's voice, it's Hyatt's face that drags itself up in front of the screen. Her expression looks like it'd fit better on Excel, though. She looks sick as ever, either way.]

Ha-chan...? Ugh, my body feels heavier for some reason...

Hey, Ha-chan. Remember that discussion we had about things we'll never discuss ever again with anyone? That school thing qualifies. .... So the dress was alright, you think? It wasn't too much? S-Sorry about the dance, I told you I didn't know how-

GAH. I can't think with all this damn noise! What the hell's making that racket?!

....! Of all the curses... Oi, oi, Ha-chan, we're staying inside today. Maybe if I wear some tinfoil or something they won't be able to get in my head

[Today Excel is Kotono Kobayashi, Westerberg High second-year student (oddly appropriate having been in the city about 2 years now), known to be a general spaz, good in PE and sports in general, but mediocre in all studies as she tends to sleep through most of them. Her highest marks are in Biology for some reason. Even she doesn't really know why.]

HA-CHAN! C'MON, WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR CLASS AGAIN! Shoot SHOOT SHOOT! Every SINGLE MORNING!

[Voice post]
[Rustling sound of Excel sifting through some photos]
....... I hadn't really realized until now.

I've lead a worryingly eventful life, huh? It really puts things into perspective to see all the weird crap that happens to you just printed right out like that. If I didn't know better by now, I'd probably have fallen into a paranoia-fueled frenzy about all this. .... Actually, I'm a little uneasy about all this anyway... Eh. That one is...

W-WHAT THE HELL!? WHAT KINDA VOYEURISTIC FALSE GODS ARE YOU ANYWAY, DAMNIT!? I swear to the Lord I'm showering with my clothes on from now on and only changing when in total darkness. ARGH.


~~~~~~~~~~~
( Pictures and stuff galore so have at em )

[Accidental Video Post]
[The video shows a black screen, and the mic carries over a muffled rustling noise]

"If we get it over with really quickly, then nobody will ever know! Right?"

"... Right! Right. Alright, so... Uh..."

"And we will keep this secret between ourselves."

"Yeah. 'course. Not a soul."

"Never, ever... Oh...my...Goddess..."

[The darkness rises and reveals itself to be someone's backside, wearing a Playboy bunny costume, akin to this, and looking absolutely miserable about it. Across from her wanders into the shot one Willow, dressed thusly, looking equally miserable. Excel is trying to adjust it so it isn't riding up, but just succeeds in making it more uncomfortable. With a sigh of futility, she hangs her arms in defeat.]

".... Next time I make a bet I'm betting food or cash. This was so not worth it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[OOC: This for explanation~]

Huh. It's the weirdest thing, but I'm feeling more... I dunno, upbeat than usual.

Hey Ha-chan, let's take the day off work today, huh? Let's get some new clothes or something. Improve our "charisma" or something. Like El said.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( OOC )

[Video Post/Action at the Square]
-ee Ha-chan, I told you there'd be at least ONE place with real water in it! No need to waste all that expensive bottled water when we've got this big ol' fountain to use! Here, hand me the soap, will ya?

( Cut for yet MORE images )

Now see, Ha-chan, I don't mind free alcohol comin' from the faucets or anything, but I'd rather not have to bathe in it, see? Though... Knowing how healthy it seems to make you, maybe it'd be a good idea in your case...

Ah? O-Oi, Ha-chan, you're not supposed to SWIM in it! Breathe, damn you, breathe!

Phew... Yet another crisis averted... Oi, Ha-chan. What's say we make good use of the bounty provided to our plumbing after we get back, uh?

...... Oi, the duct tape came o-DAMNI-
[/Video]

~~~~~~~~~~
[OOC: Yes, I know, more OOC and more images. I swear this is the most active I've been with Excel in ages; sorry to Ha-chan for working you overtime, but I just had relevant pics and HAD to use them~. :3 And yes, Excel is fully dressed, and less tattered.]

[Voice]
Hahaha! A little duct tape and a lotta gusto and PREST-O! No more embarrassing video recordings! Ingenious, really. I can't imagine why I didn't think of it sooner! ... No, really, you'd think I'd have come up with something like this already...

[Video]
( Cut for images )
[/Video]

... Huh...? ... I think my curses are broken lately... They keep showing things that never happened... But I wonder why it seems so familiar...

Hey... Ha-chan. Wanna go for a walk or somethin'? You need to get familiar with the city, and the air'll probably do your health some good. You've been lookin' kinda blue lately.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
( OOC )

[Accidental Video Post/Open action to roommates]
[See Excel. See Excel in her normal casual clothes. See Excel writing down her grocery list. Now see fog. Go, fog, go. The screen is obscured, there's a lot of awkward-sounding noises and scuffling, and when the fog clears, you get...]
( THIS )

... H-HUH!?!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[OOC: NO CONTEXT FOR YOU. I can tell you this comes from when Excel isn't in her right mind (COUGH*AMNESIA AGAIN*COUGH), and it's from AFTER the point I've taken her from, but details details. Excel's only ever cute when she has amnesia, apparently.]

All these damn murders and not one phone call. Ha-chan, you sure you got our number listed like I asked?

Ugh, I told you the market was being flooded. Damn corrupt bureaucrats. Well, at least they pay well for the cover-up stuff.

Hey, anyone need a murder solved? Bodies hidden? Dirty laundry cleaned, so to speak? We're a well-rounded private eye business. We need the money.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[OOC: FINALLY SCANNED THIS CHAPTER. READ IT, YO!]

Had the weirdest dream the other day. Somethin' about pirates and... tentacles or something? Eh, it's gone now, but still, seems kinda weird. Maybe I oughta lay off the noodles for a while...


Oi, Rena-chan. Thanks for the ohagi last week. I like your cooking better when you aren't shoving it down my throat...


Guess I never really realized how rough some of the kids here must have it. Thrust into a corrupt world not their own, forced to fend for themselves or suffer mind-numbing boredom... Not a life I wanna... Oh, wait. Right. I guess I do live it. Precisely how I know what I'm talking about. Well, it's a miserable state of affairs to be sure. Nothing I can do 'bout it, though. Sucks for them.


Hey, Ha-chan, fall in. Not literally. Dinner time.

[Excel's roommates might notice she's been eating in her room with Ha-chan instead of out in the living room area now, as a result of Hyatt moving in.]

Oi, uh, Boss! I got a friend who needs a job. I can vouch for her experience since I've been working with her for a couple years now, so...? Wanna help me hook her up here?

[Post ends; Responses come a few hours later]

Uh... Ha-chan... I'm not feelin'... too good...

[Staggers into the bathroom, closes but doesn't lock the door, then is silent for some hours or so, sprawled out on the floor]

( Wacky Drug Trip Funtime )

[Voice post initiated after/during the above dream sequence]
[The sound of running water can be heard after a loud clatter indicating the device had been dropped, probably outside a tub. Excel wakes to find herself submerged and soaked in the tub, which is running over. She groans loudly, kicking the knob to shut it off.]

Bwugh... What the... Where am... Uh...? Arrrrrgh, my head... Why... S-Somehow I just felt a strange shudder of... Sadness...?

.... Wait a minute.... HA-CHAN. I didn't think you could do anything to alter something as simple as a TV dinner, but perhaps that was a mistake.

[Action to Hyatt]
. . .

Ha-chan.

How do I say this? See, in this world, there are some things that happen that are beyond our control, and while certainly we're not accountable for these actions, the repercussions can still prove rather dire. So, what I need you to understand, is that some things happened in recent memory that are to be stricken from all records. The slate is wiped clean. YESTERDAY. NEVER. HAPPENED. I don't care what kind of temporal shockwaves it causes, as far as anyone's concerned, we skipped from Monday to Wednesday. We're like that guy from Quantum Leap except handsomer and with a better budget.

So you see, the events that "never happened" yesterday are never to be discussed ever again. Not with me, not with Elgala, not with Joe Ignorant Masses, and ESPECIALLY not our Lord Il Palazzo. This is VERY important, Ha-chan! Your Senpai wants to make sure you don't fall victim to conspiracy again, so listen to me very carefully. It's for the good of ACROSS.

... Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to be occupying the bathroom the rest of the day. I don't know if one can scrub away shame, but by golly I'll do it. My treacherous outer skin layers deserve what they get for betraying me anyway.

You'll be fine out here, right? Oi, Ha-chan, you were paying attention, right?
[/Action]

[Journal Post]
... Hey, Boss. I know this is rare coming from me, but I can't make it into work today.

Personal issues. Indigestion and all that. Y'know.

Guh, I feel violated...

[Accidental Video Post]
[Excel wanders into view in her room; Ha-chan can be seen on the floor on her futon in a pool of her own blood. Excel twitches, runs off-screen, comes back a while later with a bucket of water and empties it over the "dead" woman, kneeling down.]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIII~! Ha-chan! Talk to your dead relatives later! We got work to d-...

[The blonde's face softens slowly, staring at the "corpse" on the floor. Excel's face turns a red matching the blood, and she hovers there for a moment, staring. Once the "corpse" comes back to life, Excel shudders a little and looks away quickly.]

Y-You took a little longer than usual that time, huh? You, um... You back with us now?

~~~~~
[OOC: Once this post is discovered by Excel after the curse, she'll have immediately deleted it.]